Posts tagged: recurring characters
In all his life, he has never needed anyone. And he still doesn’t. It has been a year, and he has been trying to distance himself from it by distancing himself from all that he has known, and never staying in one place. Like dust on a windy road, he floats through, never settling.
Until now, that is. All of a sudden, it rains, and the dust sticks where it lands. And then he meets her.
He packs up his things slowly, far slower than upon his arrival. He has been here for several weeks, and it is finally time to leave; this is the longest he’s stayed in one place for an entire year. Ordinarily, at this point he would be all packed up and at the airport already, itching to leave. But there is something stopping him.
He isn’t quite able to recognise what it is, though.
Finally, he is unable to drag out the packing any longer. There is nothing left in his room, so all he can do is take his suitcase to the taxi waiting outside, and leave. The ache in his chest begins to grow, expanding uncomfortably, and he is sure that there is something physically wrong with him, so he calls the one person that he trusts.
"Hello?" he says.
"Hey," and he can hear her smile over the phone.
"How are you?" he asks, and his pain is forgotten. For some time, they talk, as if they have been best friends for years. But that is what happens when water meets dust. It kind of forces you to stick together.
And then when the water dries, there is nothing to stop the dust from flying away once again. Not unless there is some external factor stopping him.
A thought dawns upon him. It’s her. The reason that he can’t leave with a clean conscience; it’s her. He needs her, and she needs him. The feeling is so foreign to him that he is unsure what to do. This feeling of intense need scares him, and he longs for familiar territory.
So he leaves. That is all he can do.
what're you up to?
i miss you too.
god, I really needed you today
just y'know those days
when everything just starts piling up and one thing becomes another
and it just snowballs into a huge pile of undesirable shit
is there any other kind?
no, it's totally fine
that was the first time i managed to laugh all day
I know what you mean though.
ugh there is literally nothing I want more than to be able to drive over to your house right now
and throw rocks at your window so you know I'm there
and I'd have a Friends dvd and a bucket of ice cream and we'd just sit and eat and talk
I would give up everything to do that
you know when you're here and I'm not?
like, you're just talking, and then I come back and read the messages
or vice versa
well isn't it weird
just fucking crazy
that we say "I'm here"?
so if you say "I'm here" and I say "I'm here too", but we're not actually in the same place, so what the hell does 'here' mean?
pretty fucking crazy
i think there's a separate place between us, and it's just our own
so when I come there on my own, I leave a note
and when you come back
i read the note and leave you one too
you read the note
can you do me a favour? can you just... sit in this room that we have, with me, for a while? and just enjoy being human with me
just share that experience
of hanging out at 3am
of course. I wish I could be there for reals though, but I can't really justify leaving, y'know
my job, and everything, y'know...
but god, nate, you have to know, I love you
and it's tearing me apart that I can't be there with you.
i just booked plane tickets
i will be there in 24 hours
i love you too.